Walking down the stair and headed to the wash room, all that i can thought of is "Shit! i'm gonna look like a zombie again...how to preserve my 'youth' is this keep happening?" (again, i admit that i'm so vain) Suddenly i saw something that totally wakes me up...Gosh!!! My mum was sitting down at a corner in front of the toilet, with a terribly pale face...she told me she's feeling dizzy and nauseous, and she started to vomit right after saying that... For a few second, i was numb. The 1st thing that flash into my mind was her Brain. She has gone through 2 major operations 2 years back for sculpt fractured, and she almost died. It was not easy to get her back..... I was terrified...

Looking at her vomitting, there's nothing i could do other than patting her back softly and getting her warm water. All my memories of her stayed in the icu flashed back. I quickly rushed into the toilet as i know i'm going to tear, i couldn't take it seeing her suffering...

Out of sudden i felt so guilty that i haven't spend a lot of times talking to her or giving her good company recently. I still remember that i've locked myself up in the room alone whole damn day on saturday and sunday. I didn't really speak to her because of my stupid 'mood swing'. She must be feeling lonely all these while, specially when we have all grown up. I'm behaving like such an asshole, we're all that she has now!!! There's nothing that she had ever requested accept for the best for us, her children...

Why didn't i appreciate every moment of her present in my life? I couldn't stop thinking about it. Just came home from job, she's asleep. So i quietly walked to her bed, she still looks so pale... my nightmare hasn't over yet... Doctor said that she might have just caught cold, i wish is it just that simple....

Sigh....i wish she's be alright tomorrow when she wakes up...please don't give me heart-attack....