I'm tired, physically and mentally. Life is just so tiring. There're too many distractions, too much burden but my shoulder is just so small. I couldn't stay focus. If i could ever grant a wish, i'll wish that i could have the strength to carry on, or discontinued it at all....

Stop telling me that i'm didn't try hard enough, i did, and i have done my best. But what can i do when the mind not functioning the way i wanted it to. Just like feelings u can't catch it nor control it, it comes and it goes. It's not up to me to say "No, please stay..."

Yes it sounds despairing i know. I don't really know what am i trying to say here, i'm so tired right now and supposed to be asleep at this hour. But i always feel that there's something missing and i couldn't sleep....i don't know what is it...

I still love myself, and i'm trying to love myself better...i just don't love my life...