Have you ever been loved by someone, that you couldn't love them in return? I'm sure you had, me too. No intension to praise myself at all here, but I'd just want to share this feeling.

Few days ago, I've received an sms from him, "You're still the one that I love, nobody can replace you in my heart." I was stoned for a few seconds, memories evokes. After 2 years, finally he contacted me, again. But I wasn't happy at all to read the message.

Being working as a freelance talent for 5 years, it's not surprise to have a couple peoples who admire me. Most of them come and go, and all of them just adore me for the way i look. Some even tell me they love me after meeting me for a few times, what a joke? Come on you don't even know me! I couldn't care less. But situation change when you have someone who has been there like forever, adores you and loves you, unconditionally, what would you do?

Knew him since form 4, when I was only 17. He has been there for every moment when I needed him, regardless that I was actually having a boyfriend or not. He likes me since the very first time he met me, but I know it's impossible for us to work things out, there's no chemistry between us, so i rejected him. He smiles gently and said, "It's alright, I don't care. I just know that I like you, and I want you to be happy...." I was pretty much annoyed that he just doesn't give up.

In order to show him that I was totally not into him, I've got my 1st boyfriend at the age of 18. Surprisingly he was alright with that. I thought that he must had understood what i wanted, and we became best friend. He was there for every second when I needed a chauffeur, a companion, an adviser or whatever you can named of. This situation remained until I had my 3rd boyfriend. He couldn't take it anymore, "I'm sorry I just can't be there for you anymore. At least not at the moment." He said sadly. I was surprised.

All these while, we've been taking each other so differently. For 8 years, I've been taking him as my best friend that I can share every secrets to. I thought he was doing the same, cause he didn't show any hint that he was still "into" me. Or I was simply too retarded to find out about that. It totally hurts me when i know the truth, that he actually been loving me for such a long time, he must had been living in pain seeing me falling in love again and again with some other guys. It hurts me to know that I have hurt him. It hurts me even more to find out that the fact that I just couldn't repay him, cause my feeling for him can only remain as best friend's level. There's no possibility to move beyond that.

It's been 10 years now, he still couldn't let it go. I'm touched to know that there's somebody who loves me with all his heart for 10 years, but I'm upset because I can never give him what he wants.

I'm sorry KW, thank you for loving me. Please let me go and set yourself free.