indulgeAngel

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I wonder why, "First Love" is always the purest, most pleasurable and amazing experience when it appears on movies and novels, and even songs. Every time when anyone talks about 1st love, I wonder if I have missed something in my 1st relationship......

First love, was it supposed to be dreamy?

To be frank, it was ehem.....not so "interesting" though. I don't remember any sparks or fireworks within. In fact, there is nothing worth mentioning about from that relationship apart from his family that treated me so well. I'm deeply touched that they've made me part of their family and even till now, the warmth that I felt still remains.

My "1st love", it lasted for around 3 years, I can't remember exactly how long it lasted. I ended it right upon my graduation from my 1st college for my Diploma In Computing & IT. He was a great guy, he treated me well. But I chose to call it off, it was hurtful but I know it was the right thing to do.

I still remember, the day when his mother and his youngest sister found out that we've broken up, they've cried. I couldn't help myself to cry too, cause I know they've already taken me in as part of their family, and my decision screwed up everything. But I know, that's the right thing to do.

I met him when I was 18. It was weird that I've kinda predicted and told myself that this relationship ain't gonna last, from the 1st day I met him. It was my Capricorn instinct I guess. I was rushing into a relationship, without thinking much. Naive, wasn't it? I'm not even sure if I have really loved him before, or maybe I should just call it my "puppy love". But I'm wondering if I can still call a 3-year-relationship a "PUPPY LOVE" at the age of 18, can I?

Tis relationship was kinda like a barter trade or guid pro gou for me, we exchanged what we needed and meanwhile enjoyed each other's companionship. In that 3 years, I've turned a rebellious, naive young guy into a good son, good brother and even more, a better person. (not trying to praise myself here, lol) From a teenager who doesn't care about his studies, to someone who've learned to take on responsibilities in course's projects and assignments. From a guy who loves to race and speed and fight in late nights, to a guy who goes home everyday after college to be with the family. I'd like to believe that was the reason why his family loved me so much. In return, I got my transportation, food and sometimes even accommodation, all taken care of.

So, how did it ended? Why did I end it? I don't really know the exact answer to that, it wasn't easy to let go but I knew I just had to do it. I believe that's what you call "The Turning Point". My mother screwed me up like mad cause she'd pretty much hoped that he could become her son in law. Well, it's a little too early to talk about marriage, mother. My ideal marriage age is 25, well I guess it's not happening as I'm already 26.

He went out with one of my ex-college mate after that, and picked up smoking again. I know even better, that I've really made a right choice to leave him, I felt happy to see him in love again. I was just disappointed for all the efforts that I've taken to stop him from smoking, I can't remember how much tears I've shed for that, it could be a couple of pails....sigh there goes my precious tears....At least I've learned something, that I shall not change anyone, take it the way they are, or leave it.

So, ehem...Firts Love huh? What should I say more? I just realized that I don't even have a picture of him....Oh yes, you can call me heartless, now that you've found out how evil I am....

indulged in dreams at 7:54 PM

7 person(s) commented while i sleep
YYY